Sleep 'Methods' are becoming more and more talked about with social media groups dedicated to just this topic. Caregivers across the western world desperately sharing magic sleep suits and sleeping pods, sharing methods in which you can 'train' your baby to self soothe. There is a mixed bunch of research to suggest letting your child cry means they won't wake you in the night and they will go to bed without fussing. HOWEVER >> are babies learning to self soothe or are they just as stressed as a crying baby and have just learned that no one will respond? SO>> Should we be searching for a miracle fix to sleepless nights or should we be offering more support to the exhausted parent? Should we be giving parents more information on the effects stress has on a developing brain and therefore prepare parents for the selfless months of sleepless nights in which they need to provide comfort to their babies? No you won't have the same sleep you are used to, you won't wake up and feel fit for the day and you will need support from others to manage the exhaustion.
Hang on tight because >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IT DOESNT LAST FOREVER!
We all tend to understand what stress means to an adult. A house move, finances, relationships and work pressures. These are only a few triggers. But what does is mean to our babies, and how can we ensure we are protecting our babies tiny developing brains?
The brain triggers a cocktail of chemical reactions when it is under stress. One of the final products deposited into our bodies is cortisol. This hormone plays a huge role in our development in early childhood and beyond. Cortisol is needed for survival, it tells us to react and seek safety. Babies rely on this hormone for survival, being left alone means certain demise to a small baby, no one to feed it, keep it warm, keep it safe from danger. Babies immature systems are very unstable and reactive, they can be plunged into very high cortisol levels if there is no one there responding to them (Gunnar and Donzella 2002). Stress for babies can even have the quality of trauma (Gerhardt 2004). Situations which result in stress for babies are frequent but with a responsive caregivers presence it is a harmless part of life. However, if a baby is exposed to frequent extended periods of stress it can have a detrimental effect on our future emotional lives. A baby's brain will develop skewed biochemical systems that make it more difficult for individuals to regulate their emotions in later life (Gerhardt 2004).
The reasons why your baby cries tonight may be completely different to the reasons they may cry tomorrow night. Responsive care is vital, what does your baby need and how do they need you to respond? Your baby will cry because they need you. Finding this overwhelming is natural, you will need support and you will need to ask for help. Always remember these long nights are not forever.
For further support please speak to your health visitor or GP.
Mary Liddiard - Happily Ever Parenting
References,
Why Love Matters, Sue Gerhardt (2004)
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